Postal 10th Anniversary Collector's Edition Packaging: 'Slightly better than boxed Syphilis!'

Like the games, the cereal box-esque packaging is twisted, demented, inappropriate, and, most importantly, hilarious. Be sure to check out the nutrition "facts."
It has come to my attention that it is difficult to make out the fine print under "Contest Rules." It reads:
The Grand Prize winner will be selected based on convenient location and/or breast size. Testicles not eligible for grand prize. This contest is totally rigged, so don't get your hopes up.